roquefortelf

naive smiles created lies between you and me making this bond distant and unconnected you shut me off I have no one Sometimes the world I am spinning around 'n 'round I'm watching the world watch me go round spiralling upwards sometimes I'll reach the clouds and you draw me back give me something to live for not anymore last night I tried to write a list of reasons to stay to stay and not go I wrote "I miss you. Where is your forwarding address"

do you remember when we'd stay up for hours talking about nothing? when we'd make plans to spend hours doing nothing when everyone around us knew what was going on, we were happily oblivious. do you remember when I asked you shyly what we'd been avoiding for so long? when you turned and said "I know" and I thought you'd say, "but just as friends" and you didn't do you remember how slowly we went? as if anything too soon would ruin something young and beautiful and do you remember the campfire and all our chatting and shy smiles I whispered, and kissed me you did. do you remember when all we thought about was each other and we'

Sometimes, when I feel the tears rushing to well up in my eyes the blood equally fast flowing through my veins, I feel the unprecedented high. I miss it when you'd yell, or you'd glare sometimes you'd ignore me. I can turn and walk out my door and you won't be there telling me to put it away and go lie down. I can turn and walk away and live the rest of my day without having to lie down and put myself away. I can't turn and find your angry face and turn it into a smile and promise it is only for a little while. I can't turn and apologise that I'm quickly dying in every way you asked me not to. I wish you'd said, "look after your

I lay in bed and I sighed as I looked up at the textured ceiling that hung high above my head. I knew I shouldn’t have snuck the vodka from the party, or continued the party while everyone else was in bed. My head throbbed, my stomach ached and the birds sweetly chirping outside sounded like hammers hitting nails.  I rolled over nursing my head and thought about last night. We always had to go those parties. Sometimes I thought Dad was having an affair, he seemed so eager to go. The parties were always full of fine people, fine food and fine boredom.  I was expected to play the role of the perfect son and dance around with a perfect smil

Those silly parties, I thought to myself. Father was insistent that we had to play happy families. Happy husband, happy wife, happy son. I'm sure he could do more than better than that Chivello family. And what, what was my mother thinking. I'm sure she was trying to arrange something between me and that Charley. She was nothing compared to me. I liked my girls cool, calm and collected. I liked them to come to me, not arranged by my interfering mother. I knew I had the looks and I needed a woman, not a girl pretty in curls with a boy's name. I lay in bed, I knew I should have left that bottle of vodka be. After all, emptying a mini bar at yo

Together we form a muted scream, with my undated letters I'll write into late at night spilling everything and my undeterred longing with your raging absence imprinted heavily on every thought wishing to dangle from my mind. --- I keep turning to find your resting face and I face a wall and the light is still on - I don't remember waking and I don't remember falling deeply, sleep. Sometimes my dreams feel like twisted days all turning to one. Voices over voices, mumbles and screams; shouts. --- I found your undated letters and penned the dates I don't want to forget your apologies, regrets, lies, promises. I can't forget

In the dark is how we'll always be. In the dark is where I met you and I watched you go; leaving me hanging to just be. Once in the winter, it was dark and I got tired of our chattering small talk and I turned and just kiss me. So you did in the camp darkness, firelight surrounding us your angled face covered in a smile so wide it made the sun shine Winter went so long and you made the best company, I remember when I'd eat ice cream and you'd stare holding out a blanket and I'd fall asleep and wake up and wonder why I had someone so beautiful. In the spring, it was chilly and you were sweet we'd argue on end and I knew I was